I have been working on another post, but in the meantime here is the sole result from the paint-inspired picture competition. Zander was the winner, so congrats to him 🎉! Next time hopefully he won't be the only applicant 😡.
Anyway here's the story. I think this'll be the last story for a while:
The noble Alastair clenched his jaw mightily, and his face rouged to an incredible extent. *look at that jawline* thought Tom as everyone watching rouged a little themselves. Redder and redder his face got as the onlooking audience held their breath as one.
*Bang!*
Alastair unclenched his jaw as he watched his computer and body crash to the ground below him. Holding his hands out before him, he realised that he can see through them. All in a day's work for him, he thought, having already taken it in his stride with ease.
“Psst. Please help us”. He hears a whisper coming from beneath the floorboards. Sinking down beneath them immediately, he follows the voices through granite and sandstone. As time went on it got hotter and hotter, until after an age he was grunting in pain and his ethereal skin was blistering. must. help. Finally he burst through into a sweltering hot cave containing 4 orcs. Thinking quickly, he whipped out his phone and took a picture. Here's the image:
"Honorable friends, do you require my assistance?" Alastair said, hoping that they wouldn't attack him.
"PLEASE, YES", said one of them. "Can't you hear my sad music?". The sock puppet looking orc was indeed playing a sad song. The one with leaves sticking out of their pants nodded, but didn't say anything.
"We need you to slay the dragon that is terrorizing us" - said the orc that was listening to lo-fi hip-hop and doodling idly. "And to do it I can gift to you the power of transformation!"
Alastair felt a shudder go through his body and the cave started growing around him, until he was the size of a mouse.
"Now you can get through the tunnels" - The sock puppet's voice boomed out, pointing to a small opening behind a now-gigantic house plant.
"No time like the present!" Alastair squeaked, and started running, jumping and sliding across the cave floor. Before long, he reached the hole and sat down on the plant for a rest.
Navigating through the tunnels might have been difficult for most people, but Alastair managed to use his impeccable sense of direction and perfect hearing to make like an arrow through the labyrinthian system towards distant roars. When he was close, he started thinking about what he would do when he got there. After a few seconds he stopped thinking, and chastised himself for almost doing something before the last possible moment required. I'll figure it out when I get there.
And figure it out he did. Just before he came out into the dragon's cave, he thought what is it that dragons like, besides gold? The answer, of course, is princesses. Every good dragon has a princess. So Alastair jumped out of the tunnel and thought as hard as he could about princesses. I want to be like Megan Markel, only even more attractive. I want to be like Megan Markel, only even more attractive. I want to be like Megan Markel, only even more attractive. He felt the room shrink again as certain other things grew (😉). The dragon waddled up to him and gave him a lick, narrowing its eyes. Alastair gave it a thumbs up, silently projecting GoodVibes.
It mustn't have worked though, because the next (and last) thing that Alastair saw was the inside of the dragon's mouth.
His physical form destroyed, his soul rubber banded all the way up into his body, and he woke up above with rapidly fading memories of the whole event. Later, people would tell him that he was a fibber, but he knew what he'd seen.
^ True story
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